Monthly Archives: May 2011

Heard The Jacksionary Theme Tune?

The Jacksionary has a new theme tune to it! By a great guy called Mike Jeffs (@Mikerjeffs). Check it out!

Jacksionary has all the interesting, random, stupid answers for your open questions. Got questions? Request & ask, at the open question Page.

*UPDATE – Jacksionary is no more! The website is still there, but there will be more posts.*


Gym o’clock

Ok so it has come to that point were I feel lazy and unfit and have to start going the gym again. I subscribed for a year at Fitness First and didn’t even go for the first month. What a stupid waste!  So the other day I thought to myself I’d start going.

It’s amazing how unfit I actually was! Anyone get that odd sense of WTF when you walk in? All the beef heads (Steg heads) with their stupidly large muscles. Any need to make them any bigger?!? Why? You look like someone’s got a bike pump and pumped up your arms and legs with the added drawn on vein.

I couldn’t be like that. Knowing when you grow old and decrepit, all that stretched skin turning into flappy sags that could be used as a tent. Least there is one positive side to it.

Same goes for Tattoos. I have one myself but it’s only small. The people with them all over them are just going to look ridiculous when they get to that age. I laugh at you!

I don’t want to be old…I think I’m old enough now, never mind being 60-70.

Better get my running shoes on…

Itchy as a badgers buttocks

Wow i can’t stop itching!

Went to Amsterdam last week and i come back with a million bites on me. Not sure if it was the bunk beds in the crap hostel or just that the mosquitoes like my blood.

I’m using antihistamines and cream but im still itching!!! Ahhhhhh. Been told to put some vinegar on them……urm no! Then i’ll stink of vinegar when i walk into work. Everyone will think i’ve blown my bladder and tried to cover it up with the stench of vinegar.

Also one of them little buggers got me on my middle finger, which just so happened to swell up and prevent me from closing my hand properly. I looked like Professor Chump from the Nutty Professor!

Every time i go away abroad i get bitten to death. I’ve tried all the stupid ways to prevent them and the only one that seems to work is having a net constantly around me. Even then they still manage to get in some how!  They have a game plan!