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Sleep walking

So I go the gym straight after work and work my ass off till I can barely walk or move. I get back home and make some yummy cheap food. Then I get a shower and watch a film about a virus that breaks out and people start to die. At the end of this film one of the guys has cockroaches crawling on his hands, which must of stuck in my head for some reason.

I’m not bothered by them (even though I don’t think I’ve ever seen one). But as I was asleep, I ‘half’ woke up. As in I could see what I was doing but couldn’t control my body. I had awoken and thought my pillow had fell on the floor but as it did, loads of cockroaches came out of it and started crawling around on the floor.

So my weird brain thinks to itself, “you don’t want to stand on them, but its dark and they’re next to the light switch”. So I get out of bed on the other side, with great difficulty for some reason. Remember I’m not fully awake so it was kind of just happening without thought.

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Itchy as a badgers buttocks

Wow i can’t stop itching!

Went to Amsterdam last week and i come back with a million bites on me. Not sure if it was the bunk beds in the crap hostel or just that the mosquitoes like my blood.

I’m using antihistamines and cream but im still itching!!! Ahhhhhh. Been told to put some vinegar on them……urm no! Then i’ll stink of vinegar when i walk into work. Everyone will think i’ve blown my bladder and tried to cover it up with the stench of vinegar.

Also one of them little buggers got me on my middle finger, which just so happened to swell up and prevent me from closing my hand properly. I looked like Professor Chump from the Nutty Professor!

Every time i go away abroad i get bitten to death. I’ve tried all the stupid ways to prevent them and the only one that seems to work is having a net constantly around me. Even then they still manage to get in some how!  They have a game plan!